


Joy

by planbvessel (toastedhazelnut)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse (Supernatural), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Comfort, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e04 The End, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Separation Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 12:48:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18992980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toastedhazelnut/pseuds/planbvessel
Summary: “No need to fret,” Lucifer whispered, kneeling between Nick’s outstretched legs. “You’re in safe hands.”





	Joy

**Author's Note:**

> I have a couple Nickifer stories posted here, but they're from years ago (2010-2012). After being disappointed with season 14 I decided I needed to write overly fluffy/lovey Nickifer; no murder husbands here. 
> 
> It is set in the The End universe, and I follow the season 5 characterizations (or attempt to). Their relationship is established, and I imagine they reached a point in their relationship that Lucifer is more open than he normally would be. 
> 
> I planned on this being 500 words at most, but it grew out of hand. I did my best to edit it, so I apologize if there are any mistakes. As always, I'm a bit nervous posting my writing, especially something I wrote recently, but I hope those who read it enjoy. Thank you!

Joy

_as the night dissolves into this final frame_

_you’re a sweet release, you save me from my brain_

_from my brain, from my brain, from my brain_

Although the wounds healed, the pain lingered, instilling fear into his heart. Thankfully, he found solace among the roses, knowing his nightmares held no power in the safety of the garden—Lucifer’s greatest creation in Nick’s eyes. Each flower bloomed to perfection, a stretch of vibrant color and soft petals effortlessly molded into existence. Nevertheless, the view awed him, soothing his nerves as the tension eased from his body, lying on his back to stare at the never-ending expanse of stars overhead. Below him the grass seemed to caress him in his entirety, planting dew-covered kisses from head-to-toe and smothering him in unconditional love.

A light breeze danced across his skin and stirred the rosebushes, urging buds to unfurl and him forward into its embrace, cool lips meeting his own.

“Lucifer,” he sighed at the sight of the archangel materializing before him, a crown of moonlight and starshine atop his head. However, Lucifer shone brighter than all, especially against the night sky, burning intensely as if the sun itself. Mesmerized by the beauty of him—how perfectly his Grace fit and filled his true vessel—and the love he exuded, tears spilled down Nick’s face as a solid flood of affection overcame him, tearing through him from the inside out. His hands now shook from a happiness that felt unreal, the strength of it overpowering but pleasantly so, quieting his racing heart and mind. Tilting his head up into another kiss, Lucifer obliged, resting a hand upon Nick’s cheek and setting it alight.

“No need to fret,” Lucifer whispered, kneeling between Nick’s outstretched legs. “You’re in safe hands.”

“I know,” he said with certainty, and Lucifer grinned, looking pleased. Nick smiled in return.

“Welcome home . . .” he murmured, kissing Lucifer slowly, softly, savoring the achingly sweet taste of the archangel on his tongue. Lucifer promised him peace, brought him peace, and a love Nick never knew existed. Cold hands slipped underneath his shirt, stroking every curve and inch of skin in admiration, Lucifer watching him with unblinking eyes and parted lips. A warmth crept across Nick’s cheeks under Lucifer’s gaze as long fingers curled around his hips, drawing him onto his lap and into another kiss that left Nick gasping and trembling in the Morningstar’s arms from the ethereal coolness of him. A coolness Nick reveled in and longed for while apart, overjoyed to have his angel at his side once more.

“I missed you.” His voice cracked, sounding small and pathetic to his own ears, but Lucifer handled him gently, wiping the tears away as they fell. “I was so worried . . . Are you okay?”

“Of course.” Removing his suit jacket, Lucifer draped it over Nick’s shoulders and pulled him close. “There’s no reason to go into detail, however, all went according to plan. Far easier than expected, actually.” Lucifer smirked in satisfaction, Nick imagining how regal he looked in battle, proud and powerful with a beautifully sadistic smile. The mere thought caused Nick to shudder and Lucifer’s face to soften. “It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with, Nick. Now tell me, what brings you out here at such an ungodly hour? I can tell you’re exhausted.”

“Couldn’t sleep, so I decided to take a walk.” Nick shrugged dismissively. “You know me.”

“Yes, I do know you. And you know you can’t fool me,” Lucifer stated, his confidence unwavering, but he remained gentle, brows furrowed in concern. “What’s troubling you?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” For a moment he recalled the memories that plagued him night and day, at times inescapable, until Lucifer enveloped him in those large wings, silken feathers soothingly caressing him from all sides. “Nightmares.” Throat tightening, he focused on Lucifer, the light emanating from the Grace pulsing from his core. Nick became well-acquainted with Lucifer’s Grace, during the possession—the intensity of it, a cold burn that consumed him thoroughly—and now—still intense but comforting, carefully, almost hesitantly, stroking his very soul. The coldness of Lucifer’s Grace worked through him, Nick’s breath fanning in front of him and chilling his lips, leaving him winded, contented, body relaxing into his angel’s.

“They’re only nightmares,” he muttered into the crook of Lucifer’s neck, placing a kiss there. "Just dreams. Nothing you need to worry about. With everything on your mind. All that you’re doing. Let me be the one to take care of you.” His hand sought Lucifer’s, lacing their fingers together. “You’ve done so much for me. I want to do the same for you. Lucifer—”

“Stop.”

Falling silent, he shivered the instant Lucifer’s lips touched his skin, sweeping over his knuckles and then reclaiming his mouth in a fervent kiss, eliciting a moan that dragged a deep growl from Lucifer’s chest, wings quivering in tandem.

“Must I remind you what you’ve done for me?” Lucifer interjected, mouthing the words along Nick’s jawline. “I believe it’s time I take care of you. Allow me this, Nick. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

Nick frowned, unsure of himself. “They’re only nightmares,” he repeated. “But sometimes they feel real. And I’m forced to relive every moment. Every second . . .” Pausing, he averted his gaze, a wave of shame washing over him. His fears betrayed how pitiful he appeared in comparison to Lucifer, and Nick despised himself for showing such weakness. Though he knew Lucifer, and the archangel only extended his kindness to those deserving—Nick struggled to believe he deserved kindness at all. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel . . .” _broken_. He desperately tried to pick up the pieces and put himself back together, but he couldn’t escape the past completely. “I can’t control them. The flashbacks. When I’m asleep. When I’m awake.” _Stop._ “I’m sorry I’m not stronger. I must sound pathetic,” he laughed wryly.

The urge to run and hide engulfed him as he drowned in embarrassment. “This isn’t how I wanted to welcome you home,” he confessed. “But I’m glad you’re back. I feel better knowing you’re safe. Happy.”

“I appreciate the sentiment. I’m happiest when you’re happy.” Lucifer smiled fondly, a smile reserved for Nick alone; one which made him grow weak in the knees and melt into his angel’s arms. “You’ve lived an unfair life. I’ve felt your pain. And you must understand that you are one of the strongest people I know. What happened is beyond your control. Even now. There’s nothing wrong with you, Nick. You’re hurt. But I promise no one will ever hurt you again.” The barest hint of red flickered into existence, Lucifer’s eyes smoldering like twin flames—passionate and angry—but he extinguished them as quickly, regaining his composure. “I’ve seen you overcome a great deal since you’ve come to me. I wish to help you heal. Never feel ashamed to seek me out.”

Wrapping his arms around Lucifer’s neck, Nick hugged him tightly and cried into his shoulder. “Thank you,” he managed, overwhelmed by his angel’s love. The world proved to be cruel, dark and unwelcoming, but Lucifer cast his light upon the Earth and allowed Nick to bask in his glory. He considered himself blessed. The idea happiness or love may find him again seemed impossible, but here he sat comfortably in Lucifer’s lap, their bond forming and strengthening the minute Nick said yes. And Lucifer continued to accept his flaws and support him at his worst. A true angel in every sense of the word. “I’m incredibly grateful for you and everything you’ve done and continue to do for me.” Glancing out at the flowers and breathing in the night air, his fingers twisting in the softness of Lucifer’s hair, Nick’s anxiety gave way to contentment. “You’ve helped me more than you’ll ever know. I love you, Lucifer.”

“I love you, Nick.” Wings folding around him completely, Lucifer placed a kiss atop his head. “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside, shall we?”

Caught up in his excitement, Nick barely registered his body shaking, skin cold even with the jacket he wore. He reluctantly nodded in agreement, afraid to lose the closeness they shared after days apart. “If you insist,” he replied with a smile and kiss to his angel’s cheek. “As long as you stay.”

“You never have to ask,” Lucifer breathed, angling his head to catch Nick’s lips as the garden faded from view, replaced by the warm glow of their bedroom. His feet scarcely touched the ground when Lucifer’s hands settled on his waist and pinned him to the mattress, grinning devilishly. “My answer is always yes.”

A laugh escaped Nick, and he tugged Lucifer down on top of him, heart fluttering at how perfectly their bodies fell into place. “You’re sweet.”

“Sweet?” Lucifer’s grin broadened. “How cute of you, Nick. I disagree. It must be you. Praising the Devil himself. Such a kindhearted soul you are.” Trailing kisses up Nick’s neck and jaw, Lucifer’s lips hovered over his human’s mouth temptingly. “And still you blush for me. Beautiful,” he said in admiration, Grace reaching out to stroke Nick’s soul as he kissed him deeply—lovingly—enjoying the pleasure that coursed through him at his touch, and the whine Nick made as he pulled away with a chuckle.

The pink of his cheeks darkened at Lucifer’s praise, Nick at a loss for words but moved by his angel’s constant support and love. Lucifer truly made a positive difference in his life, and Nick couldn’t thank him enough. To have someone at his side that loved him at his worst and saw him as beautiful and strong instead of the frail, helpless man he believed he’d become meant the world to him, and he hoped to return the favor; Nick knew that his angel deserved love and happiness more than anyone else. His hands gravitated to the wings sprawled above him, brushing through feathers and following the defined arches he mapped and memorized and worshipped. His angel deserved every ounce of love he could give.

“Yes, sweet,” he countered, massaging where wing met skin through Lucifer’s shirt and delighting in the groan that filled the room. “Perfect.”

In one quick fluid movement, Lucifer poised himself, seizing Nick’s wrists and holding him down despite his protests. “You’re bold,” Lucifer purred, folding his wings tightly against his back. “Too bold. I need to keep an eye on you.” He nibbled at Nick’s throat playfully, earning a satisfying gasp. “We have plenty of time in the morning. In fact, the entire day is ours. There’s no hurry.”

“Luc—” Attempting to free himself proved futile, Lucifer using a mere fraction of his strength to keep him securely in place. The archangel’s other hand lingered on his waist, thumb rubbing soothing circles into Nick’s skin. “Tonight. It’s ours too,” he huffed in exasperation, mourning the loss of Lucifer’s mouth. His angel liked to tease, but two days without him were two days too many, and Nick couldn’t help his impatience. “I’m yours,” he added, voice low, inviting, and Lucifer’s wings gave a slight twitch in response. “Right now.” 

“Always,” Lucifer corrected.

“Forever,” Nick agreed.

Rolling onto his side, Lucifer drew Nick into his arms. “We have all the time in the world. Right now, you need sleep. You’re beyond tired.”

“You’re so thoughtful.” Unable to deny the fact he hardly slept during Lucifer’s absence, Nick admitted defeat, thankful to have his angel beside him. Lucifer smelled of winter, reminding Nick of wood burning in the fireplace on a crisp December morning with underlying notes of cinnamon and vanilla, rich and peaceful—the smell of home. “I’m glad you’re here. I feel a lot better already.” Happier. Calmer. Anxiety drained him mentally and physically, and once his thoughts slowed down so did his heart, the panic replaced by a peace of mind only his angel brought him. And Lucifer cradled him, listening—understanding—treating him kindly. “Thank you.”

“Forgive me for leaving. I know it’s difficult for you.”

“There’s nothing to forgive. I understand,” Nick reassured, giving his angel an affectionate squeeze. “You make time for me. Care for me regardless of how busy you are. Like tonight. I can’t put into words how thankful I am.” Their eyes met, both overflowing with the love they shared, a love that taught him how bright and beautiful life could be, including his. To see Lucifer lay himself bare—his angel’s relaxed and blissful expression—made this joy that burst within him worth fighting for. “You’re wonderful. Don’t worry.”

One large wing expanded and covered Nick, who laughed as the feathers glided across his skin, Lucifer humming in amusement while his human squirmed against him. “You’re special, Nick. I won’t let you forget that,” he promised. “I will always make time for you. The rest of the world can wait. You did long enough. And now the entire planet is ours.”

Waiting. Nick remembered waiting for Lucifer to return—scared and alone—in Detroit, his entire body falling apart piece by piece, yet the heartbreak hurt most of all. Lucifer’s hold tightened, forcing the memory from his thoughts, and Nick saw the regret on his face, a fleeting but look of obvious distress that pained him as well.

“That won’t happen again. I—”

“It’s okay,” he soothed, petting his angel’s wing, black and gold feathers glittering like starlight at his fingertips. “You’ve apologized once. You don’t have to again."

“Never doubt how extraordinary you are, Nick.” The archangel’s Grace blazed through him, Nick arching his back as his ears rang, sound and sight lost to him, but he felt Lucifer, his love, and the sheer power of him. He filled Nick to the brim, arousing his soul and driving him closer to the edge of pure bliss, and he cried out when Lucifer retreated, the world crashing down around him. “God performed a miracle when he created you,” he heard Lucifer whisper, shuddering at the touch of cold lips on his forehead. “Your soul is unlike any other.”

Blinking the tears from his eyes, Nick lay breathlessly against his angel. “Lucifer,” he panted, head spinning. The praise alone brought him immense pleasure, and his fingers fumbled in an attempt to unbutton and rid Lucifer of his shirt, yearning for closeness. Mind. Body. Soul. Lucifer knew exactly how to drive him crazy and leave him begging for more, his love as brilliant and fiery as the sun; Nick couldn’t bring himself to look away, blinded by Lucifer in all his splendor. His love for Lucifer grew every day with each passing glace and the simplest of touches. The angel behind the Devil surprised him in more ways than one, showing him compassion and answering his prayers in his time of need. He wished to love Lucifer as fiercely in return.

Muscles rippling as Nick slid his shirt off, Lucifer inhaled sharply through clenched teeth at the hands running up his arms and down his chest. “Patience is a virtue,” Lucifer chided, catching Nick by the wrists. “Though I admire your diligence.”

“Don’t preach to me,” Nick pouted, leaning up to kiss Lucifer, his angel shifting closer, breathing harder, and Nick lured him into another before he could break away.

Cupping his face, Lucifer straddled him, kisses becoming hungrier, forcing small, happy, triumphant noises from the human beneath him. Grace nipping at his lips, Nick let Lucifer takeover, losing himself in the feel of his angel; strong and loving and calming, filling the voids in his life he failed to on his own—Lucifer completed him. Hands akin to ice on his skin pushed his shirt out of the way, Nick sighing, and his eyes flickering to a close at the wetness of Lucifer’s mouth dragging kisses from his chest to his stomach. Lying amongst the pillows, Nick surrendered himself to Lucifer, entirely at peace and in love.

Fingers ran through his hair, brushing it from his face, and Nick glanced at Lucifer now stretched out beside him, wing keeping him warm. “You’re all right,” he said, smiling. “You fell asleep.”

“No,” Nick yawned, shaking his head. “I didn’t.”

“You did,” Lucifer insisted. “Your snoring gave you away.”

Groaning in embarrassment, Nick curled up next to Lucifer, their arms and legs becoming entangled, bodies nearly inseparable. He ached for Lucifer’s lips on his, Nick disappointed in himself for ruining a perfect moment between them. “Sorry, Luc,” he mumbled. “I’m terrible.”

“You are far from terrible, Nick,” Lucifer assured. “I know you suffer. The past weighs heavily on your mind. It exhausts you. And I want to help in the ways I’m able. If you allow me to.”

“Thank you. You take such great care of me. I’m grateful but I . . . I don’t want to be—”

“You’re not a burden. Believe me. I never lie. Especially not to you.” The sincerity of his words reached his eyes, head tilted in discernable worry as he gazed at Nick. “I told you we’ll have the entire day to ourselves. I prefer you sleep now, and, if you’re so inclined, we can continue once you awake. But until then I ask that you rest. I’ll be here for as long as you need me.”

“I will always need you. Want you,” Nick swore, and Lucifer’s smile returned, bigger and more brilliant, causing Nick’s heart to skip a beat. “Lucifer. My angel.” Coaxing Lucifer down into kiss, Nick breathed him in, his angel’s arms Heaven on Earth.

“No tempting the tempter,” Lucifer teased, settling next to Nick.

Another yawn escaped him, and he laid his head on Lucifer’s chest. “You didn’t complain before,” Nick laughed, taking Lucifer’s hand into his. “But you’re right. We have tomorrow. And having you here tonight is more than enough. You help more than you know.”

“I can say the same about you,” Lucifer admitted. “Whether you believe it or not. I am also grateful to have you by my side.” He paused. Almost hesitant. “Thank you for choosing me.”

Pleasantly surprised to receive Lucifer’s gratitude, Nick grinned, blushing. “I’m glad you chose me too.”

Lucifer’s fingers returned to his hair, and Nick relaxed into the touch. How fortunate of him to know and love his angel as he did, having Lucifer’s eternal light shine down on him, leading him to happiness and bringing him peace. The past haunted him, but Nick now saw the future, hopeful and excited to see where life took him, hand and hand with his angel. And a calm permeated his thoughts for the first time in days, his mind and soul pleasingly cool and light, wrapped in a love that shielded him from the dark. He gave in, immersing himself in the feeling, and falling into an undisturbed sleep. No nightmares. No fear. No tears. Just Lucifer embracing him, keeping him safe, and Nick glowed with joy, looking forward to what the morning held in store for him.

“Goodnight, Nick.”

_oh joy_

_when you call me_

_i was giving up, oh i was giving in_

_joy, set my mind free i was giving up,_

_oh i was giving in_


End file.
